PTSD

I have not been clinically diagnosed with PTSD but my therapist has mentioned it to me in previous sessions. I think it came about after my Mum passed away in 2010 - When I was 17.

I had recently moved back from the USA because she had rung me up and told me she had cancer. I was only back for two weeks before she passed away. I was in complete and utter shock and everything happening around me I felt very numb to it all.

She was and still is my best friend in life and I couldn't cry at her funeral - I didn't believe (or want to believe) this all was happening. I often have negative flashbacks of seeing her at her worst and all the terrible things surrounding that time in my life. I know flashbacks are a symptom of PTSD.

I have recently given up smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol - two things I used to self medicate with throughout my grieving. It has been difficult to find other coping strategies, especially when I am stressed I can't just grab a cigarette now.

It's quite mentally rewarding when I can find positive ways to cope with everyday stresses and stimuli - I feel stronger being sober, even if mentally my brain is telling me i'm weak.

I manage by holding onto the good memories I have of my life and the good memories that are to come. I relish in simple things that bring me joy and embrace how i'm feeling. Say, it's sunny outside - I go sit in the sun "This is beautiful." I proclaim. I try to project how I'd like to feel. Positive thoughts breed positive actions.

I hope i'm making some sense - I'm still trying to figure PTSD and myself out so I apologize if my reply is a bit muddled.

Mercurialwoman - Can you go to your therapist or local GP and request information on cognitive therapy? I am interested in doing it myself but I'm not sure where to find the information and support.
Also, how do you practice mindfulness?

if you like i can write out the one i use

Thanks Amy for you informative reply, really helpful. To lose someone you love so dearly causes emeasurable pain and I believe this pain manifests itself in so many different ways.   You only have to watch hoarders to figure this out.    You must have loved your mum so much. . I have a friend whom I can talk too, but I know I need someone else to burden with all my feelings and thoughts, who has the knowledge to help me move through the stages I imagine that are there.

Notice Five Things
This is a simple exercise to center yourself, and connect with your environment. Practice it throughout the
day, especially any time you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts and feelings.
1. Pause for a moment
2. Look around, and notice five things you can see.
3. Listen carefully, and notice five things you can hear.
4. Notice five things you can feel in contact with your body. (E.g. your watch against your wrist, your
trousers against your legs, the air upon your face, your feet upon the floor, your back against the
chair etc)
great for grounding if having flashbacks

Watching Thoughts Drift By Instructions

1. First, I would like to ask your permission to do another mindfulness exercise. Are you willing to go ahead with that? [Get clients’ permission and then move on.]
2. Just get in a comfortable position in your chair. Sit upright with your feet flat on the floor, your arms and legs uncrossed, and your hands resting in your lap, palms up or down, whichever is more comfortable. Allow your eyes to close gently [pause 10 seconds].
3. Take a few moments to get in touch with the physical sensations in your body, especially the sensations of touch or pressure where your body makes contact with the chair or floor [pause 10 seconds].
4. It is okay for your mind to wander away to thoughts, worries, images, bodily sensations, or feelings. Notice these thoughts and feelings and acknowledge their presence. Just observe passively the flow of your thoughts, one after another, without trying to figure out their meaning or their relationship to one another. As best you can, bring an attitude of allowing and gentle acceptance to your experience. There is nothing to be fixed. Simply allow your experience to be your experience, without needing it to be other than what it is [pause 15 seconds].
5. Now, please imagine sitting next to a stream [pause 10 seconds]. As you gaze at the stream, you notice a number of leaves on the surface of the water. Keep looking at the leaves and watch them slowly drift downstream from left to right [pause 15 seconds].
6. Now, when thoughts come along into your mind, put each one on a leaf, and observe as each leaf comes closer to you. Then watch it slowly moving away from you, eventually drifting out of sight. Return to gazing at the stream, waiting for the next leaf to float by with a new thought [pause 10 seconds]. If one comes along, again, watch it come closer to you and then let it drift out of sight. Think whatever thoughts you think and allow them to flow freely on each leaf, one by one. Imagine your thoughts floating by like leaves down a stream [pause 15 seconds].
7. You can also allow yourself to take the perspective of the stream, just like in the chessboard exercise. Being the stream, you hold each of the leaves and notice the thought that each leaf carries as it sails by. You need not interfere with them—just let them flow and do what they do [pause 15 seconds].
8. Then, when you are ready, let go of those thoughts and gradually widen your attention to take in the sounds around you in this room [pause 10 seconds]. Take a moment to make the intention to bring this sense of gentle allowing and self-acceptance into the present moment … and when you are ready, slowly open your eyes.

Mercurialwoman - If you don't mind i'm going to re-post your mindfulness tips in the "Useful Information" catagory. They are really helpful!