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Post by louise on Jun 10, 2014 21:07:27 GMT 12
Well for the moment anyway. I've been told I may have PTSD by 2 councillors who are friends. I was a very confident, competent person for many years, bringing up all our children with a workaholic/Aspergers husband. 2 of our children have died. Now in my 60s having lost my home, all its contents and my job in the recent EQs, I find myself a shell of my former self. I don't go out, don't want to. I worry about anything. But if life stays simple I can cope. If I have PTSD I can now see the symptoms have been there since the loss of our 2nd child 10 years ago. I don't want to go to a councillor, for one that would mean leaving home lol. I try to keep outings to a minimum. But I do want to get back to my old self. Little steps I guess. Thank you for reading this.
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Post by whinnie on Jun 10, 2014 21:20:27 GMT 12
Thank you for sharing Louise. It sounds like you have been through a 'rough ride' and have experienced some heartache.
I know how hard it can be to leave the safety and security of home and venture out into the world as anxiety has also been in my life for a while now too.
Coming from Christchurch too, we have suffered a great deal from these darned earthquakes and they can really affect ones nerves. I hope I can help you and I believe little steps is the key to getting back into the swing of things.
Do you find it easier to cope and understand now that you have the PTSD diagnosis?
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Post by Amy on Jun 10, 2014 21:21:06 GMT 12
I admire your strength Louise. I think it's cool you have two friends who are councilors - Do they offer some good advice occasionally? I'm so sorry for the loss of two of your children, that must have been incredibly hard for you and your husband. I can relate to you with not wanting to go out if it's too chaotic, I prefer life simple myself (as i'm sure many people do!).
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Post by louise on Jun 10, 2014 21:39:16 GMT 12
Hi whinnie, I don't exactly have a diognosis, but I'm pretty sure they are right. I don't have contact anymore with one of the friends (a long story) and I only see the other maybe once a year, as I live an hour away now, since shifting post EQ (referring to the councillors). Do I cope better, I'm not sure, its all been a bit of a learning curve, I still think I'm on the acceptance stage. But yes, maybe its helping a little to understand me! I think I still have a lot more research to do. But life goes on at the same time so everything takes time.
Do you have a diognosis whinnie? Sorry if I read the answer to that and have forgotten already. Quite a bit to absorb tonight.
Thanks Amy, I believe we are all strong soldiers.
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Post by whinnie on Jun 10, 2014 21:55:29 GMT 12
I know that some people find it easier when they know what it is they suffer from as they can then research and seek answers , clarity and support for what works.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety quite a few years ago but battled with them both right from my teens. I am 40 yrs old now and took myself off all medication about 7 years ago as I had suffered addiction problems with prescribed medication. I cope so much better now that I am off all medication however I suppose I do live like a hermit/recluse sometimes. I spent a great deal of time alone when I was a child and still enjoy my own company now which some find strange but to me it is just the norm.
I am probably coping the best I ever have at the present time however I still have so much more I want to do! My mantra at the moment is 'just let it go" and it seems to be working.
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Post by louise on Jun 10, 2014 22:14:08 GMT 12
I don't mind being alone either whinnie. Years ago, I loved company as often as it happened. A horrible thing I recognised lately is that when visitors arrive, visitors I am expecting, I get worked up before the come, and I'm relieved when they go. Such a horrible realisation. Some are family that decide its time they came, and because we are a long drive away of course they expect to come for a meal. Years ago I relished that kind of challenge. Now I stress over the cooking, the whole business, and if I let myself get worked up, begin to wish they weren't coming. So the last time family were coming I did all the cooking the day before, warmed it up on the day and found it much more relaxing. Its just working out these little tricks to lesson the load. I have a very good friend that visits and I couldn't believe the sense of relief when she left, it felt like betrayal. So now I focus on relaxing and enjoying her company and realising it will be a while before her next visit, so simply enjoying the time. And its working.
I like your idea of just letting it go, I think I would have a lot less 'ta dos' with the Mr, if I would just let it go. But realise if I wasn't feeling stressed I wouldn't be reacting with him the way I do.
That you are managing so well since coming off medication speaks of your inner strength and for that you should be very proud.
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Post by Amy on Jun 11, 2014 18:52:47 GMT 12
I can relate to how you feel Louise. I get quite anxious around people too - especially if I know they are coming for a visit. I have to make sure everything is impeccable before they come otherwise I don't feel right. Good idea on planning a day or two (with the meals) before hand. That would definitely help keep you cool, calm and collected! It's always good to just take a deep breathe and enjoy your surroundings, I have to keep reminding myself to do so more often. 'Letting go' Now THAT's something I need to work on!
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Post by louise on Jun 11, 2014 20:08:26 GMT 12
The deep breath is so true Amy. And I also think about the whole day, planning what I will do beforehand, and how to keep that to a minimum and then after they have gone, how I can simplify the rest of the day. . Like having an 'easy tea' that evening and having no washing to worry about that particular day.
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How was your day today? What do you have planned for tomorrow?