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Hi guys
Jun 10, 2014 19:37:13 GMT 12
Post by llywella on Jun 10, 2014 19:37:13 GMT 12
I'm new about here. I'm in my late twenties. I have been diagnosed with a couple things throughout life, depression, bipolar etc which apparently is common. My last diagnosis and the one which sits is Borderline Personality Disorder.
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Hi guys
Jun 10, 2014 19:44:11 GMT 12
Post by Amy on Jun 10, 2014 19:44:11 GMT 12
Hi Llywella, Welcome  Could you explain a bit more about what Borderline Personality Disorder is? I'd like to learn more about it! |
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Hi guys
Jun 10, 2014 20:47:05 GMT 12
Post by louise on Jun 10, 2014 20:47:05 GMT 12
Hi llywella, welcome from another 'newbie' but then at the moment aren't we all. How does a Personality Disorder show itself, even if only Borderline, I too am interested. How it affects ones life?
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Hi guys
Jun 10, 2014 22:06:16 GMT 12
via mobile
Post by llywella on Jun 10, 2014 22:06:16 GMT 12
Intense mood swings from one hour to the next, self destructive behaviors, splitting/black and white thinking (thinking one person a hero then when they show they aren't perfect, thinking them the villain. It's a relatively new thing since the 80s I think. I have serious problems regulating my emotions. Something that would be no big deal for someone is a big deal for me. I suffer anxiety as well. It affects relationships greatly. Most books on the subject are generally titled "I hate you, don't leave me", that type of thing cause that sums up my relationships.
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Hi guys
Jun 10, 2014 22:10:16 GMT 12
via mobile
Post by llywella on Jun 10, 2014 22:10:16 GMT 12
Wiki pretty much sums up my life except that usually people with bpd are also generally into drugs/alcohol which I am not. I'm glad it's one symptom I didn't take on as I could imagine it would make things a lot worse. I hate what I am with this but it's really tough to treat. Personality disorders are pretty much for life. It's just learning how to manage it better which I struggle with due to lack of funds and I tried meds but it made me so out of it that I couldn't stand myself en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder |
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Hi guys
Jun 10, 2014 22:15:23 GMT 12
Post by Amy on Jun 10, 2014 22:15:23 GMT 12
"I hate you, don't leave me." That resonates a lot with my present and previous relationships to date.
Good on you for saying no to alcohol & drugs. Have you found any coping mechanisms that make living with BPD a bit easier? When do you feel life is at its 'easiest'?
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Hi guys
Jun 10, 2014 22:25:19 GMT 12
via mobile
Post by llywella on Jun 10, 2014 22:25:19 GMT 12
When everything is going well. Which as most people know is hardly ever. I crave stability and can't cope with change.
My coping methods haven't been the best to date. So I'm probably not the best one to ask. I just try make do where I can. Not a lot of professionals are geared to help unfortunately there's still a real enigma with it. You can have other things on top of it ie depression which is what medications are generally prescribed for rather than the actual disorder itself.
I've done a lot of reading. Hasn't got me closer to anything but it has made me more aware. Maybe I can post up snippets as I always make highlights about what I read if I'm permitted. Like a journal built from stuff I read.
I read a lot.
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Hi guys
Jun 11, 2014 11:14:09 GMT 12
Post by louise on Jun 11, 2014 11:14:09 GMT 12
Intense mood swings from one hour to the next, self destructive behaviors, splitting/black and white thinking (thinking one person a hero then when they show they aren't perfect, thinking them the villain. It's a relatively new thing since the 80s I think. I have serious problems regulating my emotions. Something that would be no big deal for someone is a big deal for me. I suffer anxiety as well. It affects relationships greatly. Most books on the subject are generally titled "I hate you, don't leave me", that type of thing cause that sums up my relationships. So sounds like your emotions can be pretty intense. That would test any relationship, I know when mine are that way, everyone cops it around here. Silly thing is when I do it, I know Im doing it, but I don't listen to my own sensible self until its all over, than I'm a cow and won't say sorry. Sigh... |
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Hi guys
Jun 11, 2014 18:50:03 GMT 12
Post by Amy on Jun 11, 2014 18:50:03 GMT 12
I would love to see some snippets of your writing Llywella!
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Hi guys
Jun 12, 2014 9:28:06 GMT 12
via mobile
Post by llywella on Jun 12, 2014 9:28:06 GMT 12
Intense mood swings from one hour to the next, self destructive behaviors, splitting/black and white thinking (thinking one person a hero then when they show they aren't perfect, thinking them the villain. It's a relatively new thing since the 80s I think. I have serious problems regulating my emotions. Something that would be no big deal for someone is a big deal for me. I suffer anxiety as well. It affects relationships greatly. Most books on the subject are generally titled "I hate you, don't leave me", that type of thing cause that sums up my relationships. So sounds like your emotions can be pretty intense. That would test any relationship, I know when mine are that way, everyone cops it around here. Silly thing is when I do it, I know Im doing it, but I don't listen to my own sensible self until its all over, than I'm a cow and won't say sorry. Sigh... Sometimes I know I'm doing it and as you say don't listen to myself and sometimes I don't. I'll put up like a scrapbook thread a bit later with thoughts and things I've read. Stuck at home sick atm |
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Post by Amy on Jun 12, 2014 11:18:41 GMT 12
Cool - There's a section on this site just for poems and writings etc. I knew it would come in handy, haha.
I hope you get better soon! Drink some warm honey and lemon?
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Hi guys
Jun 12, 2014 19:15:35 GMT 12
Post by mercurialwoman on Jun 12, 2014 19:15:35 GMT 12
hello from a fello bpder ...having bpd is like having third degree burns and having someone throw acid at you thats how much it hurts when someone says something that hurts me i read peoples emotional responses in a nano second and can hear tone extremly well i pretty much have all nine symptoms but have massive dissociative epsisodes and dont remember things (like punching a wall )i will drive people away from me becuase i cannot stand that they may leave me so i do it first ....
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Hi guys
Jun 12, 2014 20:36:38 GMT 12
Post by Amy on Jun 12, 2014 20:36:38 GMT 12
I have a tendency to push people away before they can push me away too Mercurialwoman.
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Hi guys
Jun 12, 2014 20:44:34 GMT 12
Post by louise on Jun 12, 2014 20:44:34 GMT 12
Mercurialwoman and Amy, my half sister whom I have never met told me this in the last few days. That she expects people to let her down or give up on her, so she only gives 50 percent of herself, which kinder assures that it happens. Where as I give 110 percent of myself, but also kind of expect it from others, and so when I don't get it, or I feel they have let me down, I want to walk away or give up. You can imagine the two of us would be a bad mix aye!!
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Hi guys
Jun 13, 2014 16:58:29 GMT 12
Post by mercurialwoman on Jun 13, 2014 16:58:29 GMT 12
oh i still give 110 percent of me i just end up in pain i give too much or i just am very uncaring so i dont get hurt very black n white
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